Words given to me by my awesome son, Brad. I had to look some of them up to get the definition! Lol As usual….1000 words exactly, plus title. Enjoy! (See, my son! I TOLD you I could do it! I love you!!!)

refulgent (shining brightly), saponaceous (soapy), reliquary (container for holy relics), fitness, cilantro

All In the Blink of an Eye

There’s a very interesting story behind the baseball sitting in a glass case on 67 year-old Charley Whitman’s mantelpiece. The one that’s signed George Oliver Drummond.

You’ve probably never heard of a baseball player by that name, but I can assure you, Charley knows him.

On this particular day years ago, 12 year-old Charley was digging a hole in his backyard to bury a dead bird he’d found, when he discovered something that looked like a very small reliquary.

He opened it up – it was all dirty and crusty – and found a refulgent purple stone. He slowly pulled out the stone, rubbing it with his shirt-tail. It sparkled and flashed for a few seconds, after which, Charley found himself sitting in a state of total confusion, outside what appeared to be an office door, surrounded by saponaceous-looking clouds.

A sign on the door read: “Be back soon!” with a smiley face.

Several minutes later, the door opened and he was greeted by an elderly man wearing a sweatshirt, an Angels baseball cap, and jeans.

“I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” he said as he removed the sign and motioned Charley into the room.

Charley simply stared and nodded his head as the man sat down behind an ornate desk and motioned for him to sit in the chair opposite.

“So, young man, what brings you here today?”

“Uh…I dunno. I found this rock and I rubbed it off with my shirt and the next thing I knew…” and his voice trailed off.

“Ohhhh, I see you found one of my missing Gateway Stones. I suspect one of the imps that clean my Study took it when he left. It can carry you somewhere and bring you back. I wondered whatever happened to that little devil. He must have lost it when he went to Earth. Hahaha. Serves him right. Well, he’s in a special kind of hell now, isn’t he! Hahahah.

“So, what’s your name lad?”

“Charley.”

“And what can I do for you, Charley?”

“Well, who ARE you?”

“Who AM I??? Well, I’m God, of course!”

“Oh my god! GOD??? Oops! Sorry!”

“That’s quite alright, son, I get that all the time. No offense taken.

“So, now that you’re here, is there anything in particular you’d like to know?”

Charley was still quite stunned by the identity of the man and didn’t know what to say, but after a few seconds, he said: “Is my dog Cisco here? He died last month. Can I see him?”

“Well, technically, yes, you can; he’s on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge along with Ralph, Frankie and Lucy and all the other pets you’ve loved and lost. I can take you there and you can SEE them, but you can’t actually touch them until YOU cross the Bridge yourself. But at least you will know they’re healthy and happy.”

At that moment, a voice resounded loudly from behind the old man. “God, dammit! You said you would plant the cilantro today!! You’ve been promising that for a month now! And I’m getting tired of your excuses!”

The old man blushed slightly, and said “That’s my wife, the Goddess. Ever since she started this physical fitness class, she’s all about healthy eating.”

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

The door opened and another elderly gentleman poked his head in. “Sorry to interrupt, sir, but I’ve just gotten another summons from Mrs. Woodard. She’s lost one of her earrings. Again. I shouldn’t be too long.”

“That’s fine Anthony. That woman sure keeps you hopping, doesn’t she? Hahahha.”

“Yes. She’s now taken to calling me ‘Tony.’ It’s St Tony, help me find this. And St Tony, help me find that.” Sigh. And with a flash, he withdrew from the room.

Charley noticed something during this conversation with God. The telephone on his desk was constantly ringing. “Don’t you have a secretary to answer your phone?” he asked.

“Well,” God answered, “I USED to, but she quit after a week. I don’t really blame her. The number of calls that come in is staggering. I just don’t understand it sometimes.

“Do you know how many people there are on Earth, Charley? Almost 8 BILLION! Do you think I have time to listen to each and every one of their calls? EVERY DAY? Sheesh. I know a lot of things, but give me a dang break here!

“For instance, I’m constantly getting calls to “fix” the political situation in the United States. Well, let me say THIS about THAT! You people elected this guy! What do you expect ME to do about it NOW??????

“You see, Charley, sometimes people create their own messes and then they want ME to fix them. How did mankind get so bloody stupid sometimes???

"Why do people think I will solve their problems? Why should ‘I’ care who wins the Super Bowl??? Always some kind of favor they want. Make it rain. Make it STOP raining.

"One person wants me to help THEIR team win a game. The OTHER team asks for the very same thing! I CAN’T WIN!!!!” People have got to start helping themselves. And each OTHER. Sure, there are special cases where I may lend a hand, but those are very VERY special cases. I can’t show favoritism.” An obviously exasperated God finally wound down.

“So, you should probably be getting back home before your parents panic. I’ll show you the Rainbow Bridge, but first – and especially since you didn’t ask me for anything – I’m going to sign this for you to memorialize your visit.” And God reached into a case behind him and pulled out a baseball, signing it George Oliver Drummond. GOD.

And with that, God took Charley by the hand and, as promised, took him to the Rainbow Bridge so he could see all his beloved pets.

Of course, no one would ever believe Charley had actually spoken with God, that’s why he’d signed a phony name.

But Charley knows.