A story using five words given to me by my dear friend and loyal fan, Glenn.
Remember...these are not intended to be literary masterpieces (and it's a good thing!). They're just for fun and to keep me from going crazy during this virus fiasco. As usual..my self-imposed rule of using EXACTLY 1000 words, plus the title.
The words used are:  venom, candid, weaken, help, humor.

Some People Just Can’t Change!

Walter Muddlethorpe was not known for his sense of humor. Indeed, he was a crotchety old man who spent his days alone, sitting on his front porch complaining loudly about anything and everything to those who happened to pass by. Especially those walking their dogs.

“Hey! Ya better keep that damned dog offa mah lawn!”

“Yeah, yeah old man!”

People eventually learned to ignore him.

He was harmless, really. Just someone to make fun of.

His daily routine was pretty much the same. He’d sit out on the porch and read his newspaper and harass passers-by. That was about it. In the evenings, he would go back inside his tiny house, cook up something to eat and watch the nightly news. Then spend the rest of the evening complaining about the news events he’d just watched.

“The whole damn world is goin’ ta hell!”

His only other entertainment was watching re-runs of Candid Camera. He would alternate between laughing until the tears ran down his skinny, unshaven face, and cursing the show “victims” for their stupidity.

Nothing much changed over the course of the next several years except for the age and faces of those who passed by. It seemed to go in waves.

The only thing that remained the same was Walter and his views on certain topics.

No, there was never a Mrs. Muddlethorpe. Although he came close once. Back in the day. But it didn’t take very long for the object of his affections to figure out just exactly what was roiling beneath the surface of the tall, almost handsome young man in the sailor’s uniform. A barely concealed hatred for almost everything around him. She could never quite figure out what it was about him that intrigued her. But after witnessing a particularly nasty exchange between Walter and someone who accidentally bumped into him with her shopping cart in the grocery store…well, that wasn’t something that could be easily brushed off. Sheer venom in his voice. She just wanted to disappear.

She only saw it the once, but that was enough for her and the relationship ended.

After that, Walter remained…well…Walter. He wasn’t going to change and saw no reason why he should! Screw ‘em! Screw ‘em all!

Eventually, he became even more crotchety to the point he was even regularly phoning the police to complain about one thing or another. They dutifully took down his information and promised that they would “look into it and get back to you.”

The daily drama continued.

People continued to walk by. Walter continued his threats against those with dogs.

Then one day, Walter did not appear on his porch. It took a little while for anyone to notice until one dog, a beautiful border collie mix, stopped in her tracks and refused to take another step.

“Come on Lucy! Let’s GO!” urged the owner.

Looking toward the front of Walter’s house, the man noticed that Walter wasn’t sitting in his usual spot and yelling at him about the dog.

Hm. That was strange.

Finally, the man and his dog walked on.

But on their return trip soon after, the dog again stopped in front of Walter’s house and refused to budge.

“LUCY!! Come ON, girl! Let’s go! What’s wrong with you??”

Again, the man and his dog finally moved on.

But when the same scenario repeated itself the next day, Lucy stopped in front of Walter’s house and began barking wildly. The man began to wonder if something was wrong.

Carefully opening the gate at the bottom of the porch stairs, the man cautiously stepped up onto the porch and secured Lucy to the railing.

Nothing amiss there.

Then, he heard a sound and stood very still, listening. There it was again. A very faint cry.

“Hello? Hello? Anyone in there?” he said pressing his ear against the screen door into the house.

“Help! Help me! Please help me!” Walter gasped from inside.

The man slowly opened the door and stepped into the house seeking the source of the voice.

First, to the right, he went into the small, but tidy, front room. Nothing amiss there.

Next, he went to the kitchen. Nothing there either.

Same with the bedroom.

Lastly, he went to the door of the bathroom, which is where he found Walter lying on the floor with his right leg bent awkwardly beneath him.

“Oh my gosh, Walter, are you okay? What happened?”

“No, I’m not okay!! I was changing the lightbulb in the ceiling fan and I lost my balance and fell off the stool!”

“Okay. Well, don’t move or anything and I’ll call an ambulance.”

With that, the man found the phone in Walter’s livingroom and phoned for an ambulance, explaining the situation to them. Then he returned to the bathroom with a glass of water for Walter, who continued to weaken from dehydration

“How long have you been lying here?” he asked.

“Since yesterday. I been yellin' ever since I fell but nobody heard me!”

“Well, you can thank Lucy. SHE heard you and let me know something was wrong.”

“Well thank God! Who’s Lucy? Yer wife?”

“No. Lucy is my dog. We walk by here almost every day. But never on your lawn,” the man added with a concealed grin.

“Yer DOG???”

“Yes. She must have heard you calling out yesterday, but I didn’t pay any attention to her. But when she did the same thing TODAY, she started really barking and when I didn’t see you on the porch, Lucy was insistent that something was wrong and I needed to check. So you can thank her that I found you, otherwise who knows how long you might have been lying here!”

“Well I’ll be damned. Never woulda thought it would be a DOG that would rescue me!”

Just then, the ambulance arrived and carried Walter away.

Once he returned home, Walter resumed his daily activities, including warning people about their dogs.

Except Lucy. He always waved to Lucy after that.