A Night on the Town

I had just dozed off when I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

My driver had arrived to pick me up for my usual night out. When I got into the car, however, I noticed it wasn't my usual driver. The hair showing beneath his cap was red. My driver has black hair.

"Wait a minute. You're not my driver! Who are YOU???"

"He couldn't make it tonight, sir. I'm filling in for him. My name is Reynard. Eshu Reynard."

"And what does the S  U stand for?"

"They are not initials; it is my name. E-S-H-U. Eshu."

"Alright, Let's get going, Eshu Reynard."

Unusual, but...it was almost Halloween and I was game for adventure!

THIS guy, however, was a menace! Weaving in and out of traffic and barely missing parked cars. At one point, he threw the damned thing in reverse, stepped on the gas and backed up without looking! I don't know how he managed not to hit anything.

We raced down the road at breakneck speed, with me yelling for him to slow down for godssake! Are you trying to KILL us????

"Sorry, sir."

After slowing down a little, he screeched to a stop in front of a building with a sign that read: The End Zone.

"What 's this? Looks like a dive."

"I thought you might enjoy a change of pace. One of my other passengers recommended it very favorably."

"Well, Reynard, what kind of pace IS that, exactly?"

"Zydeco."

"What-ee-ko??"

”Zydeco. I've heard it's very upbeat. Fun, even. I  believe you will like it."

Well, I didn't really have an objection, even though I usually kept to the same circuit of night spots. High-class. Not too loud. Good music. Plenty of women.

"Alright. Pick me up in an hour. And slow down, for godssake!!! I want to get home in one piece!" I figured an hour would be long enough to know if I wanted to stay or move on to the next place.

"Yes, sir."

I went in the dimly-lit building and saw a series of doorways. On each was a sign of the Zodiac. Hmmmmm. Do I pick my own sign, or just whatever suits my mood of the moment?

Nobody was around to ask.

Okay, let's go with Libra. Middle of the road. Libra it is!

I went in. The room was dark. Somewhere a band was playing. It was crammed with people elbow-to-elbow, singing "Oh little 'liza, little 'liza Jane! Oh, little 'liza, little 'liza Jane...."  That's what it sounded like anyway.

Not  my kind of music. Certainly not cheek-to-cheek on the dance floor music. I was  beginning to regret sending my driver off.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned, coming face to...uh....face..with a zucchini squash. Somewhere under that getup came: "Where's your costume?"

"My what?"

"Your costume. This is a masquerade party, if you hadn't noticed."

”Well, no, actually, I hadn't noticed. It's dark. And nobody told me anything about....."

"Well, I don't know how you got in here without a costume. You'll have to go put one on. It's that way," the squash said, gesturing behind me.

I elbowed my way past various creatures, and assorted creepy characters and made my way to a door marked "Changing Room." It was dark. I groped for the switch and turned on the lights. Such as they were.

The room was more like a large closet, with racks of clothes lining the walls. I tried not to breathe too deeply, because of all the dust and a thick moldy smell. Then I felt something scurrying around my feet. DAMN! What the bloody hell was THAT!!!! In my attempt to escape whatever it was, I lost my balance.

I don't know how long it was before I woke up. On the floor.  My head throbbing. I seemed okay, except for one thing: all my clothes were gone except for my underwear.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES!??????

Once I felt stable enough to stand, I started searching, but to no avail.

WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!!!!

Okay, think! This is a room full of costumes. Just pick one and get the hell out of here!

Then: A knock on the door.

Uh oh.

"Just a minute!"

The door opened a little and a voice said: "The doctor will be with you shortly."

"Doctor? WHAT DOCTOR????

”Dr Who."

”Okay, that's not funny!! And I don't NEED a damned doctor!"

The door closed. The room was now totally different. I have no idea where I am or how I got here. I DO know, that I STILL have no clothes!

I managed to find a shirt. Kind of.  I put it on and pulled the zipper up to my neck. It didn't cover very much territory, but it would have to do.

I slowly opened the door just enough to see if the coast was clear.

Okay, NOW what? Which way is out! For a moment, I considered going back into the room and trying to talk my way out of whatever was happening.

Too late.

Coming toward me was what appeared to be a doctor. I say that only because he wore a white doctorish-type jacket and has a stethoscope hanging around his neck. He's waving his arms and yelling, but I can't understand what he's saying. It just sounds like gobbledygook.

Panic-stricken and totally disoriented, I try to run, but my feet won't move, like I'm in cement!

I keep struggling to free my feet, but nothing happens. What is going on?????

Now, more "doctors" are coming. One has a hypodermic needle. They're all yelling, and my head is throbbing even more.

Finally, I can move my feet, but now my legs won't support me and I keep falling down. Using the wall for support I try to crawl away.

Slowly. Very slowly. But I'm not going anywhere! Like pedaling a bike when the kickstand is down.

Just as the doctor is within striking range, someone grabs my arm and drags me down a dark, narrow corridor. I can hear screaming. Maybe it's me. I don't know. I just want to get OUT of here.

I manage a quick look behind me, only to see....nothing. Nothing at all.

The next thing I know, I'm in the car. Safe. Reynard turns to me and says: I'm so sorry, sir. This is my first night as a substitute driver. Morpheus will return tomorrow; he just needed a night off.

And I woke up dripping in sweat, in my own bed, cursing Morpheus.

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Five more words to include in a story: zodiac    zone   zipper    zucchini   zydeco .

MORPHEUS (Morpheus), the son of Sleep, and the god of dreams. The name signifies the fashioner or moulder.

Eshu -  patron of roads (especially crossroads), doors, and travelers, as well as a spirit of chaos and trickery.

Reynard - A red fox and trickster figure who plays a central role in the moralistic fables of the Reynard cycle.